Friday, February 26, 2010

2nd fitting-DONE

Well on Wednesday we had my second fitting and they still had to take it in a little more. My dress makes me feel like a princess, I still can not believe that I am getting married in six (6) weeks. GULP! A few things that are good about this is that some of my family from New York are planning on coming YEAH! Since joining the Church I have found out that I love my family and I sure did miss a lot of my cousins growing up after my parents got divorced and I am so thankful that I am making up for lost time now.

So the cake has been ordered and it is going to be beautiful (Thanks Kelly)! Now we need to talk hair, make-up, flowers, reception food and the list goes on and on. but I am starting to get nervous even more so than last post.

Oh yeah I also bought my shoes and they are kind of slipper like shoes and I just love them. Off to do some more planning have a great day.

Friday, February 19, 2010

UPDATE!

Well, I got my shoes for the wedding which are ballet type shoes and are so cute! We picked out the wedding cake and how we want it done. Kelly really rocks on these things and I can't thank her enough for offering to make our cake and make it affordable to us. Invitations will be mailed on 2/20/10. The food I am going to leave up to my friends Aldi and Susan to decide since that will be one less thing I have to worry about. Got to get with Regina on the Flowers, Paloma on the hair, Karen on the make-up gotta buy rings, license, temple recommends........and the list still goes on and on and on and on and on...........

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

GULP!

So it is about eight weeks until I am supposed to marry for all time and eternity with Ron. But I am having difficulties sleeping and thinking (which is really a bad thing for me to do) about all that needs to get done and will I get it done on time, why did Heavenly Father choose us to be together. We have gone through a few rough patches and he has had to deal with all the issues I have with certain members of my family and he still is sticking by me. Will I be a good enough wife for him, to him, am I good enough for him? Will this wedding turn out the way I want it to? I don't have enough time in the day for all that I need to do and yet I am not sleeping either. There are nights that I just sit in my bed and cry and I can't stop myself. I guess that coming from a very dysfunctional family and always feeling like I am not good enough is catching back up to me as well as the feeling that I will never amount to anything. I go to the scriptures and some days/nights they help and other time it doesn't. I am the type of person who will not ask people for help and that I know is a bad thing to do because I need to stop holding things in but I just can't help myself. I miss my best friend who always was there for me and I know that if she were here in Maryland she would just know that I need her without me saying anything.

I truly love Ron with all my heart and soul and can't wait to marry him but it is so hard to stop these doubts that I have. I guess I will have to continue to pray to Heavenly Father and wait for his answer. We all go through trials and tribulations and we come out strong in the end but I hate having to go through them. I can not and will not let the evil one keep these negative thoughts in my head any longer he has no control over me or my prosperity. I feel so much better now that I have let this all out. Thanks for listening.